ADHD exercise, managing anger

A remark, a frustration, a lost game, and then the explosion. Many children with ADHD have intense, sudden anger that is hard to contain. It exhausts the child as much as the parents. Here are exercises to help them spot anger before it erupts, and practical tools to calm it.

Intense emotions

In children with ADHD, emotions are often felt with great intensity. Anger rises quickly and strongly. They struggle to hold it back, due to their impulsivity. They may shout, hit out, throw objects. Afterwards, they often feel regret and ashamed of what they have done.

This anger is not nastiness. It reflects a difficulty in regulating emotions. The child needs to learn to recognise and manage them. This takes time. We support them with patience. Anger is described on the page ADHD and anger.

The anger thermometer

An anger thermometer, drawn on a sheet of paper, helps the child gauge their level of irritation. At the bottom, calm, in green. In the middle, annoyance, in orange. At the top, explosion, in red. The child shows where they are.

It is first used when calm, to talk about past situations. When you lost the game, where were you? We identify together what makes the thermometer rise. The child learns to recognise the stages of their anger. They can then act before reaching red.

Signals from the body

Anger shows up in the body before exploding: the heart beating fast, fists clenching, the face heating up, the jaw tightening. We help the child spot these signals. How do you feel you’re starting to get angry? They search. They name them.

These signals become alarms. When they notice them, they know they need to act. They can use a technique to calm down. They avoid the explosion. They regain a little control. Recognising emotions is explored further on the page to recognise your emotions.

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Techniques for calming down

We teach the child several techniques to bring anger down. Breathe deeply, as if blowing out a candle. Count slowly to ten. Squeeze a ball tightly, then release it. Drink a glass of water. Step away from the situation.

We practise when calm, when they are relaxed. They choose the techniques they prefer. These are noted on a card they keep with them. When anger rises, they can look at their card. They know what to do. Breathing exercises are gathered on the breathing page.

A refuge for the storm

A quiet corner, set up at home, lets the child withdraw when anger rises. It is presented as a shelter, never as a punishment. It is a place to settle. Cushions, a blanket and soothing objects are placed there. The child goes there on their own or when suggested.

You can also put in a cushion to punch, a sheet of paper to scrunch up, or modelling dough to knead. These objects let tension out without hurting anyone. The child releases their anger safely. They regain their calm. They come out soothed, sometimes after just a few minutes.

Responding during a meltdown

During a meltdown, the adult has an important role. Stay calm yourself, even if it is hard. Do not shout or argue. Keep the child and others safe. Wait for the storm to pass. Gently suggest a calming technique.

We do not try to reason with the child in the middle of the meltdown. They are not in a state to listen. We talk about it later, when they are calm. We help them understand what happened. Together we look at what they could do next time. Explosive moments are described in more detail on ADHD and crises.

Appropriate support

If anger is frequent and very intense, support can help a great deal. A psychologist trained in behavioural therapies can work on emotional management with the child. Parent guidance helps parents respond in an appropriate way. Many families say they have found useful keys there. Day-to-day life is often lightened as a result.

To find a psychologist or a parent guidance professional, the ProfessionnelsDys directory allows a search by town. Read a few profiles before calling. The first contact is often decisive. Parent guidance is presented on the page parent guidance and ADHD.